MEN: LET ME BE YOUR EYES

I have recently re-entered the wonderful world of dating, and, aside from the thousands of juicy stories I will soon be posting, I started to realize a common trend in the men that were courting me.  Complete disregard of ones first impression.  Instead of calling them out, I have decided to use this space to passive aggressively help them.

I first have to preface.  THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MONEY. I swear I am not a materialistic girl when it comes to dating.  I have always offered to pay on dates, I have never judged anyone by the car they drive, labels don't impress me, & if you take me to Chili's, i promise i would be un-phased.  But one thing I feel like I have to speak out about is the  importance of putting yourself together.  We as women definitely think of you guys when we put ourselves together before an evening out.  Even if it is a nail clipping or a coat of mascara.  When we go on a date, we like to put the best version of ourselves forward.  Just like a job interview.  You wouldn't show up to meet with the CEO in crocks, would you? Well maybe if you were going to work for one of Mario Bitali's restaurants, but the answer is NO.  You would want to show your employer that you give a shit about yourself and you want to show the shiniest version of you.

So here we go.  Let this to be more of a public service announcement.  A simple list of images of DO's and DONT'S.  You literally don't have to think.  Just look and follow my advice.  I want to help out of the kindness of my heart because I believe their are some really great men out there who are missing out on that second date because they show up to the first one looking like they don't give a shit.  And if you don't give a shit about you, how the hell are you going to give a shit about me?

NOTE: none of these suggestions will break your bank.  Obviously, there are more expensive versions, but my goal is to make these DO's super attainable.

ADDITIONAL NOTE: This isn't outdated.  I have dated men in the last 4 months that have been victims of ALL these fashion DON'TS.

 

 

SUNGLASS DON'T: Please no colored lenses.  Unless you are involved in some kind of outdoor activity requiring this super polarized look, this isn't flattering on any face.

SUNGLASSES DO'S: Any of these options from Quay are totally doable.  A simple thick rim, something a little more flashy if you have to, and a basic aviator.  Of course, there are so many more options, but I am keeping it as basic as possible for you to follow.

T-SHIRT DONT: You are wearing a t-shirt.  That means casual.  No one needs to know WHO YOU ARE WEARING.  No massive logos, especially ones that weren't even cool 10 years ago when they came out.  Also, since I can't hold your hand through which shirts with writing on them are OK, lets just rule out ALL SHIRTS WITH ANYTHING PRINTED ON THEM. Superhero shirts, any ironic sayings, team jerseys on a date are also not cool. Lastly, Boat necks or scoop necks-  unless you are jacked and you have the rest of your outfit locked-- this is an advanced fashion move you aren't ready for.

T-SHIRT DO'S:  there is no reason to complicate this- Henley, crew neck, v-neck.  All basic.  Earth tones, grayscale.  black, white.  Leave it at that.  Anything from Urban Outfitters or Alternative Apparel  Even Gap is fine.

BUTTON UP DON'T: No prints. No blinding colors. nothing with flames or material that catches light.  You are not a pimp from Oakland and you do not sell gold chains out of the trunk of your car in the parking lot of a strip club.  These have no place anywhere.

BUTTON UP DO: Again, I don't know why you guys try and complicate things.  You can never go wrong with chambray (that means denim), a basic white, light blue.  If  you stay super basic, I'll accept a pattern.  a dot pattern, a gingham, a simple plaid.BUT STAY TO TWO COLORS.

CASUAL JACKET DON'T: Overly decorated or detailed.  Jackets that belong in athletic settings only.  just dont

CASUAL JACKET DO: Anything minimalistic.  Bomber jackets.  NO LOGOS.  I feel like i need to repeat myself.  Worst case scenario, a basic colored hoodie can be ok if you are at a loss with jackets.

DEMIN DON'T:  You don't need patches, decorated pockets, more than 2 rips in your jeans, unnecessary zippers, pockets, ribbing.  No crazy processes.

DENIM DO: The name of the game is basic.  Black, gray, regular denim color. Two rips max right in the knees. Lastly, something that FITS.

CASUAL SHOE DON'T: No bright color anything on your feet.  No track shoes, no trekking shoes.  Unless your date takes place in the gym or on the mountain, just stay away from any sport-specific shoe.

CASUAL SHOE DO: Neutral colors always. Anything adidas classics, converse, vans.

OTHER SHOE DON'TS:  Nothing pointy, again I have to mention, no bright colors, nothing too accessorized.  No shoes that suggest you had a hip replacement and are needed for medical use.

OTHER SHOE DO'S: Browns, blacks, grays. Avoid the things from above and you will be fine.